To you, these are just pants

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Victoria's Secret and I have not had a good relationship. A few times a year they send me a catalog filled with clothing I could never wear. Especially at a XXL. I would stare longingly at the pants and shirts (usually while stuffing my face) and be mad that they didn't make XXL clothing. At the mall, I would thumb thru the racks, cursing the fact that nothing I liked came in anything bigger than a Large.

Today, I did battle again with Victoria's Secret. Again I thumbed through the racks, looking at sweat pants. For the last 4 years I have promised myself a pair of rocking Pink sweats. Not because I needed them. But because I could. For four years I let myself down.

Today I pulled the pink sweats from the rack and slowly made my way back to the fitting room. "I need to try these on." I said to the lady working the fitting rooms. "Sure thing...Let me know if you need a larger size." I am pretty sure I gave her the look of death. If I needed a larger size, I was toast. Because they don't go larger than Large. Taking a deep breath I slipped  the pants on and closed my eyes. After convincing myself that in order to actually see if they fit I would have to open my eyes, I slowly cracked open one eye. And, I won't lie...I might have jumped up and down a little bit. Because, they fit. They really fit.

I walked out of the store the proud new owner of a Pink pair of VS sweats. The pair I have wanted for a very long time.

Sure, to you, these are just pants. Probably overpriced pants at that. But, to me, they are more. They signal a turning point in a hard-fought journey. It signals that I am serious about this and I intend to continue what I am doing.

To you, these are pants. To me, they are a mark in the win colum in my war to beat an eating disorder and an obesity problem. Today, I emerged a winner in yet another battle against my fat girl