Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I'm not doing this for them

Via Google Images
I recieved an email this morning from a reader of this blog. The email, in short, asked my why I felt the need to satisfy others by losing the weight? Shouldn't they accept me for who I am? And don't I realize that I will never be quite good enough for them?

I will admit,at first the email stung. Who is this person to tell me I will never be good enough? And then I re-read the email. And I realized that these were honest questions.

When I first started this, I was doing it for others. I have this need to be accepted. To be liked. To be good enough. I wanted to be that girl, who would walk next to her husband and people would say "Damn, he's lucky." And you know what, the person who sent the email was right, I will never be good enough for the people in my life who thrive on seeing me fail. And that's okay.

I am not doing this for them. Or for you. I am doing this for ME. I am doing this because I have spent most of my adult life taking care of others and putting their needs before my own. And now, it is my turn. I deserve a chance to be happy. This is all about me. Sure, I like seeing the looks on people's faces when they see me. It makes me feel good. Especially the naysayers. But, I am not doing this for THEM. This is for me. In fact, everytime someone tells me I can't, it only makes my drive that much more stronger.

At the end of the day, the only person that I have to answer too is that girl I see in the mirror. That's it. This is my life. My choices. My time.

The next time someone tells you that you can't, smile and say "watch me"

1 comment:

  1. You Rock! And that is soo important. That you ARE doing it for YOU! But what is funny, is that I never got the impression you were doing it for anyone BUT you!