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Today, you are getting on my nerves. Every.Last.One. You have been running your mouth like a school yard bully today. Taunting me. Making fun of me. And right now, I don't like you.
You are supposed to be cheering me on. Telling me that I can do this. Instead, you are chewing at my brain like a rat chewing at it's cage. I tried to be understanding. I tried to be patient. I tried to reason with you. I showed you the facts. In black and white. Yet, you continue to flap your gums.
Well, guess what? I am done. Yes, done. I am sure you don't believe me, because, let's face it, this isn't the first time we have had this discussion. I should have let you go a long time ago. But, I kept you around because you were all I knew. You interfered with my relationships. You interfered with my goals. You made things uncomfortable. You were like Cousin Eddie from National Lamphoon's Christmas Vacation (Come to think of it, I'd take him over you.) I let you rule my life. Dictate my choice.
Not any more. Yesterday, I celebrated what is a huge milestone. I left the 200's behind me. A feat I haven't been able to accomplish in over 5 years. I became 39 pounds closer to weighing less than I have weighed since high school. And what did you do? You taunted me. You kept me up all night. You told me that I would again cross the threshold back in to the 200's. You told me I was going to fail. And then you laughed. All day you have been nagging at me.
For years, I have answered to you. I have done what you wanted. Ate what you said. I was killing myself with food...for you! Not anymore. There is only one person can tell me what I can or can't do. And that's me. Not some fat girl. Not you. I am doing this for ME. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to live. And if you don't like it...I.Don't. Care.
There's the door. You've overstayed your welcome. I am sure you won't leave. At least not tonight. Because you are going to wait for me to fail. Well, you are going to wait for a while...because, guess what?
I am not going to fail.
Not this time!
A thinner and happier Melissa.