Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I need to quit eating like this...

How many times have you uttered those exact same words while sitting in the drive-thru line at your favorite resturant? Or as you polished off a bag of chips? I would guess you've said that at least one time. And, if you are like me, you've probably said it numerous times. And you do stop. For a day or two. But, it isn't long before you find yourself right back in the same old eating pattern. And then, the cycle repeats.

Food addiction is a very real and very serious thing. And unfortunately, along with other eating disorders, is hardly talked about and often ignored.

But, the thing is, you can't ignore it. You may alter some things in your life and things might get better for a short time, but it comes back. The saying goes "Once an addict, always the addict." Ask any recovering drug addict or recovering alcoholic and they will likely say the same thing. An addiction is a hard thing to shake. But, it can be done.

You just have to want it. You have to learn to be bigger than your addiction. And you have to be willing to face some things in your life that you may not want to face. But in order to get a grasp on your food addiction--or any addiction for that matter--you have to face down your demons.

I don't share a lot about my past anywhere. My husband is the only person who knows everything about my past. My mom, whose my best friend, doesn't know everything. Nor my dad who I lived with for a few years after my oldest was born. Yes, the demons are that big.

I mention them now, because I haven't faced them down. I have confronted several of them, but there are still some that are much bigger than I am. And they are affecting my life. Again. 

But, the difference between this time and the other times, is that I can recognize that I have an issue and I can deal with it. I know what I need to do to face them. And I will do it. It's a matter of finally realizing that I deserve the happiness I am so desperately seeking. We all do.

So, as the song from Third Eye Blind, Jumper, goes:

Everyone's got to face down the demons, 
Maybe today, 
We can put the past away, 

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