As I am sitting down to write this Get This Party Started by P!nk is playing on my Spotify right now. I nearly laughed out loud when I realized what was playing, given what I am about to write, I think it's a pretty fitting soundtrack. ;)
Things are about to change, big time, for me. The other day, I wrote about having to make an important decision after having a conversation with a friend. I needed to make a decision about whether or not I would compete in a figure competition in 2013. Honestly, I went around and around about it. I talked to Steve. But, mostly, I spent a vast majority of the weekend thinking about what I wanted to do.
Right now, the thought of stepping foot out onto a stage in a bikini and high heels scares the crap out of me. I have some major self-esteem issues. Even with all the weight that I have lost, I still have a hard time being proud of what I accomplished. So, if I was going to do this, I would have to get over my self-esteem issues over the next 12 months.
But, even though it scares the crap out of me, it's not my biggest issue for not wanting to do it. The biggest issue? It's going to be hard as hell! Let's be honest here, the way I eat, the way I work out, it's all going to have to undergo a major overhaul. Especially my diet. And I don't know if I am ready to make those changes.
But, nonetheless, a decision needed to be made this weekend. Pros and cons. Reasons to and reasons not to. The good and the bad. All of it needed to be dealt with. Why this weekend? Because I want to give myself a solid year of training if I were to decide to do this. I have my eye on a competition back in IL, so I needed to decide what I wanted to do.
So, enough anticipation. Want to know what my decision is going to be? Am I going to be a chicken and not do this? Or will I embrace this opportunity and do something no one ever expected me to do?
Well, the answer is....YES!
I will compete next year in a competition. I am ready and excited to start on this chapter of my journey. And look forward to sharing it with all of you.
Tomorrow, I will be sharing my workout plan and meals for the week as well as my starting stats.
No one ever expected this fat girl from Illinois to ever want to take the stage in a competition. But, I am not doing it for those people who put me down. I am doing this for me.
Ready or not...