Sorry I have been M.I.A

This last week has taken a toll on me, physically and emotionally. I have had to deal with things that I NEVER expected to have to deal with. I am walking a very unfamilar path right now.

This past week, I had to take a step back from blogging, working, everything, and just deal with and process my emotions surrounding recent events. And while I still have a ways to go, I am doing better today.

I plan to be back in full force next week!

Have a happy weekend :-)

To run or not to run

That is the million dollar question. Recently, I declared to the world that I was going to run a 5k. Sure, I was met with more than one skeptical look, but I vowed to try anyways.

This week, I finally get around to wanting to register for this event. Only to discover that it is not a 5k, but is a 10k.

*sigh

Thats a lotta K's

So here is the new million dollar question...Do I run or not?

i want to. I really want to prove to not only others, but to myself that I am capable of doing this. But that is a lot of miles.

I am torn.

I am leaning towards running it. But then again, I am leaning to forgoing this run.

Gah. I can't decide.

To run or not to run...That my friends is the question.

Weekend= 2 Steps back

Weekends are my arch enemy. I always seem to slide back a little bit. I don't know what it is. I guess my body just decides that "Oh! It's the weekend, let's eat like we will never eat again." Luckily, I didn't gain any weight. Not so great was I didn't loose anyweight. :/ So I will have to work extra hard this week to make up for the weekend.

The weekend had its good and bad. I spent time with my kids and husband. Of course, as it always seems to go, I am also dealing with some heavy personal things right now. It's stressful, my nerves are shot, and while I know that things will be ok, it still doesn't help with my emotional eating.

This week will prove to be a struggle in many many ways. But I know that at the end of it all...things will be ok :-)

As Nemo says "Just Keep Swimming"

Master Your Metabolism: Day 1

Today marked my "official" start of Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolism plan.

It went really well. Actually better then I expected.

For Breakfast:

1 cup Kashi cereal with 1/2 cup milk

Lunch
Chicken salad (made with greek yogurt instead of mayo) grapes and roasted pecans

Dinner
Healthy Cobb Salad

Snack
Homemade Pita chips w/ organic sweet onion salsa.

And honestly, I wasn't hungry like normally was. I measured everything I ate (and yes I even weighed my chicken)

I was hesitant about using greek yogurt in place of mayo because I really really dislike the taste of plain yogurt. And I haven't really found a "flavor" of greek yogurt I like. But this chicken salad...once its cold...is delish! There is a small amount of honey that helps add taste to the salad.

I think I have finally found an eating plan that I can stick to :D

Menu planning...oh how I loathe thee.

I am preparing to jump right into the Master Your Metabolism plan this week ( I waited till this week, as it's grocery week). I spent the better part of last night pouring over the books that I ordered. I flipped through the calorie counter, I read the recipes in the Master Cookbook...I felt comfortable chosing this plan.

What I failed to realize is that the backbone of any successful diet/eating plan is a menu plan.

I am the only one in my house who is going to follow this plan. My husband will eat some of what I make, but for the most part...it's just me. (And yes, that means that I will be preparing two seperate meals...*sigh*)

Planning a menu is hard. Especially when following the MYM plan. For the first time in a very long time, I am more aware of the quality of foods that I consume. It is kind of scary when you think about all the crap that you put into your bodies.

Menu planning is supposed to give me a guideline. Something to follow. I buy those ingredients and that is what I have to eat.

The more I have to menu plan, the more a frozen pizza becomes appealing.

Change your thoughts...Change your life

I believe that is also the title of a Wayne Dyer book. Matter of fact, I have that book and that is probably why that title jumped into my head... anyways

I have been struggling with this whole weightloss thing...alot. When it is just me that is eating this stuff, just me that is doing the workouts, I tend to lose motivation. Sometimes, I feel like I am destined to be this fat mom forever. The mom who can't run and play with her kids.

And I hate it.

I follow both Jillian Michales and Bob Harper on Facebook and Twitter. Today, Bob had posted something about drinking more water to lose weight and to just be healthier overall. One poster said it didn't matter what he did, he was always going to be fat and it was "depressing". A few posters responded with "If that is how you think, then that is how it is going to be." And at that moment, they could have been talking to me.

The negative way that I have been thinking is sabotaging me before I even really get started. I am setting myself up to fail.

Changing your thoughts takes effort. And it isn't going to be easy. But if I want to succeed, if I want to be a healthier mom..and a happier mom, then I need to change my thought process.

I am working on it, I don't think that it will be easy, but I know that I need to do it. Not only for me, but also for my children that plan on mommy being around for a long, long time.

I am my own worst enemy

The weekend is over. It was a good one too. Spent it outside splashing in the kiddie pool on Saturday and Sunday. Watched Alice in Wonderland with my husband as our "date night".

Saturday was also Aidan's fourth birthday.

I made ice cream cake. Two of them.

I also overindulged. I won't say how many pieces I had...because honestly? I can't remember.

As Sunday night wound down, I was faced with what I had done. I had sabotaged myself, before I even had a chance to suceed. I always do that. I always set myself up to fail.

I am my own worst enemy. I eat with reckless abandon. I buy healthy food, but then end up ordering calorie and fat laden take out.

My ankle has been bad for nearly a month now. A MONTH. It isn't getting better. Instead, I still find myself cringing at the thought of walking up or down the stairs.

You know why it isn't getting better?

Well, how would you feel with 227 pounds of fat bearing down on you :(

I am my own worst enemy.

I think, today is the day to wage war against this enemey. Drive her out for good. And be healthy and happy.

I deserve it.